PRANK WARS, CH. 3 (Ft. Fräulein DeJane)

[Damon Thorne]

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While he wasn't usually, this particular Friday left Damon very thankful he had a roommate. Said roommate was also his rhythm guitarist whenever Damon felt like recording some music. Brett was the closest thing Damon had to a friend, along with being one of the few people he tolerated. Anyway. Brett was very outgoing and spontaneous, so when Damon called him up with his plan, he was all for it. But first, he drove over to the school with two shovels in tow. The two men spent ten minutes - it went twice as fast with two people - scooping the green jell-o out of Damon's car and onto the ground. There would be some questions about that on Monday, but at the moment, it didn't matter. Let Sorge scratch his brow for the weekend, Damon didn't care. Then they sprayed the seats down with some fabric cleaner and softener, let that sit for another five minutes, and Damon climbed in. Brett followed him in his own car -- a significantly less-stylish teal Honda Passport. They returned to their apartment to prepare for the next prank.

One benefit of being a freelance actor was Damon got to keep a couple outfits from the movies he'd been in. In one of his movie's he'd played the role of a cop. So he had a fake cop uniform hanging in the back of his closet. It was rigged for quick change, thank goodness. The buttons were all snap-shut, which would make Brett's job even easier. After all, he was going to have rip those clothes off pretty fast. Brett changed into the police uniform, then he and Damon went over the plan once more. Brett was to knock on Linsee's door and pretend he was a police officer, there to "ask her a few questions" about the jell-o incident in the parking lot. Then, while Linsee was throwing together some crafty response, Brett would pull a portable boom box from behind his back, set it on the ground, start playing some club music, push past Linsee into the house, and start taking his clothes off. Damon made it perfectly clear that if Linsee didn't stop him before he got to his boxers, Brett should stop himself. Brett wasn't too thrilled about that, until Damon told him Linsee was a minor.

They dug up the boom box, popped in some batteries, and fed it a freshly-burned CD of stripping music, then tossed it in the back seat of Brett's car. For obvious reasons, they couldn't take Damon's. Linsee would recognize it. The drive over was spent with Brett and Damon arguing over a pack of Skittles Damon discovered in the glove compartment. Damon's argument was he'd found them, while Brett was playing the "It's my car" card. Finally, they agreed to split the Skittles after Linsee had been successfully pranked. Then Brett asked if "this Linsee girl" was good-looking. Damon promptly smacked him over the head. They swerved a bit on the road - Brett was driving - before the driver righted himself. At last, they pulled up in front of the DeJane house. Damon had never been there before, for obvious reasons, but he was surprised it wasn't a sprawling mansion. The sty of pigs visible in the back yard was a bit off-putting, as well. Cameron DeJane was just dashing out the door toward a sky-print Jeep sitting in the driveway. The Jeep pulled out and away. Damon couldn't believe his luck. Cameron was gone, and there weren't any other cars in the driveway, which must've meant Linsee's parents were a) out to dinner, or b) still at work. Great. No one to spoil the fun.

He gestured with his head toward the DeJane's front door. "Go get 'em, tiger." Rolling his eyes at his roommate, Brett grabbed the boom box and held it behind his back as he slid out of the car and hobbled up the front walk. He peeled one hand away to ring the doorbell, then he and Damon waited with bated breath.

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words ! 702, tags ! linsee, outfit ! oneinpic, lyrics ! "this is war" - thirty seconds to mars, note ! Brett is modeled after Tomo, jsyk.

[Linsee DeJane]

Linsee was still in a fantastic mood after her most recent prank. There was nothing like relaxing after a well dumped vat of green Jell-o. Her day was getting even better than before. Her parents were out until dinner, and Cameron was heading out to... Study or something. Whatever teenage boys do when they're tired of being around their giddy twin sister. Although, Cam had loved the prank she pulled on Mr. Thorne, if only because he wasn't the target for her most recent attempts. He didn't exactly enjoy being on the recieving end of one of Linsee's patented Master Plans. Then again, who would? Well... Except Mr. Thorne. For some reason he actually enjoyed being pranked on, and that made him the perfect opponent. He could retaliate, and take a joke like a man. A very tall, sexy man, but still.

As Cameron left, calling goodbye as he went, Linsee took the quick rout to the kitchen, around the corner and right into the fridge. She was starving after working on lugging Jell-o all across the school. I'm thinking... Sandwich. Olive-mayo-stuff, cheese(three, of course), and some veggies. With cheetos on the side. Mmmm. She was just about to snag the cheese from the drawer when a doorbell rang. Curious, Linsee looked around the corner toward the front door. Did Cam forget his keys? Usually he's pretty god about that. Frowning from confusion, Linsee closed the fridge and walked toward the white door. Their door was solid, void of any windows - why, she didn't know, just a house quirk - so she couldn't see who was at the door. But, not one to shy away from unknown visitors, Linsee reached forward and opened the door. Uh oh.

Standing at Linsee's doorway was someone she'd never expected. He was wearing black, and a shiny gold badge was on his left breast pocket. Hanging on his side was a wooden baton. Linsee froze for a millisecond, shocked. Mr. Thorne actually called the cops on the Jell-o? Low blow dude! She backed up a half step and composed herself in seconds. She donned a bright, fake smile, and looked up at the cop. "Hello, officer. May I help you?" she asked politely, while her mind reeled. Calling the cops... Simple, effective... But definitely nothing I'd expect from Mr. Thorne. He never seemed the type to report me and make me pay a fine. Maybe it has to do with something else? "Would you like to come in sir? Or are you going to be staying long?" she asked surreptitiously. She wanted to be as prepared as possible for whatever the officer had in store.

Linsee's mind raced, trying to think of good excuses as to why she dumped a dozen big-ass containers of green Jell-o into her teacher's very nice ford mustang. Well, officer, he once told the class green Jell-o was his favorite food on the planet. See, I was misinformed; someone told me it was his birthday and I was just trying to surprise him. She sighed inwardly. Yeah, that'll go over well. Arrest me now, officer, before of I think of another atrocious lie! Save yourself a load of bull and cuff me! She smirked at the thought, going downtown for some misplaced Jell-o. Her parents would love that. Well... Cam would.

Words! 633 Tags! Mr. Thorne Outfits! oneinpic Lyrics! This is War - 30 Seconds To Mars

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[Damon Thorne]

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Typically, this was the part where the best friend hated the history teacher for talking him into this. However, the situation was far from typical. Brett kept looking over his shoulder at Damon and flashing him thumb-ups. Personally, he thought it'd be better if a trained actor like Damon were attempting this, but Brett felt certain he could pull this off. After all, this was Damon's student. If Damon showed up at the door, even disguised, there was no mistaking his eyes. That, and it had to be pretty damn awkward to undress yourself in front of your favorite student. Not that Brett would know...

He was saved from that mental tangent when the door opened. A girl with brunette curls stood before him. That must be Linsee. She took one look at him and froze. Brett had to fight the smirk creeping up on him. Policemen didn't smirk, they sipped coffee and ate donuts. It was amazing that he didn't even have to say anything, and Linsee already bought it. She looked like her mind was reeling as she took a step back to compose herself. Finding her tongue, she spoke. And fired two legit questions right off the bat, before Brett had time to throw in a "Goodday, ma'am." "I hope I don't end up staying long," Brett replied, addressing on the second question. "A Mr. Damon Thorne filed a police report stating some student broke into his car to fill it with Jell-o, and you happen to be said student. I just wanted to pop down here and clarify."

The shades had been a good call. Brett slid them down to the bridge of his nose and looked at Linsee over the lenses. "But first," he brought the boom box around to his front at light speed, "some rhythmic interpretive movement." He hit play, and the "un-ts un-ts" started. Brett pushed past Linsee, set the boom box down on what looked to be a coffee table, then tore off the black jacket, exposing a white undershirt. He'd worn multiple layers, as per Damon's instruction. Then, whilst shimmying, he grabbed the bottom of the undershirt and began pulling it over his head.

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words ! 376, tags ! linsee, outfit ! oneinpic, lyrics ! "this is war" - thirty seconds to mars

[Linsee DeJane]

Linsee wasn't sure how her afternoon was going to end up now that a cop was standing on her doorstep. She wasn't particularly knowledgeable about the law, so she didn't know what happened when someone was caught lock picking and vandalizing another person's things. She figured a court appearance at least, and some time in Juvie if things got way out of hand. Well, I made this grave, now I've got to lie in it. With that, Linsee focused on the law enforcement officer standing in front of her. The officer ignored her first question for the moment, and started on her second. "I hope I don't end up staying long." Yeah, you and me both buddy. She was at the point of welcoming him in when he spoke again. She paused.

"A Mr. Damon Thorne filed a police report stating some student broke into his car to fill it with Jell-o, and you happen to be said student. I just wanted to pop down here and clarify." Good ole' Mr. T(not to be confused with the man in a mohawk... Unless you count Mr. Thorne's recent pink--I mean pomegranate mohawk), filing a police report on a harmless prank, she thought to herself. She wasn't exactly upset, just disappointed. Calling the police was definitely not genius-prankster-worthy, which was what Mr. Thorne was--used to be. He was slowly sinking on her scale of awesomeness. "Oh that, officer. Well, I did see him scraping green stuff from his car, and make a slight comment, but there is no way to prove or deny that I committed such an act." she said, waving it off with a small hand gesture. "Mr. Thorne had teased me earlier today, nothing more. I may have let on that I would retaliate, but I was thinking more along the lines of salt in his coffee, not something I could be arrested for." she was very convincing. If it had been anyone other than a police officer confronting her, she would've boasted the idea, but at the moment, jail-time being threatened, taking credit wasn't exactly the smartest move.

The cop slowly slid down his glasses, which Linsee took as some sort of 'watch it' kind of movement implying 'lie and you will die. Or go to jail. Either way works fer me'. In reality, she was completely off target, but you couldn't blame a girl for thinking the worst. I mean, she was being confronted by a p0liceman about a crime she actually committed. Talk about sucky day! "But first," The policeman pulled her out of her inner monologue. She focused on him as he maneuvered something in front of him. Is that a...? The man brushed past her and into her living room. Why does he have a boombox? Didn't those go out in the eighties? "Some rhythmic interpretive music." Linsee was now completely baffled. Why did that man have a boombox with interpretive music on it? She followed him into the living room cautiously. Music was pumping out of the teensy outdated machine. It sounded almost like techno music, but with something she couldn't put her finger on that changed the mood.

He then turned toward Linsee and pulled off the top to his uniform. Linsee's eyes shot open even wider than before, and she actually stopped midstep as the man began to undress himself. No, he isn't--Mr. Thorne didn't hire--STRIPPER?!] It was the only coherent word she could pull out of her confounded brain. Linsee watched with growing horror as the man reached to pull off his undershirt. DEFINITELY don't want to see that!

[/i] she took a step toward him, intent on stopping him when a thought occurred to him. Would that be... No, Mr. Thorne wouldn't treat me with such a sight. It couldn't be. But... Could it? She wondered. She couldn't help but consider the idea that it was Mr. Thorne stripping, after thoroughly disguising herself. For a moment, she didn't want to stop him.

A females gotta take every chance she could get, right? Hm. Maybe I should stop this. I could always ask him to start again to finish what I'm sure he had to practice in a mirror. Don't want his hard work to go to waste. A smirk flitted across her expression. She took a few steps forward, confident that she was dealing with Mr. Thorne in disguise and reached out as the disguised man started to lift up his shirt farther. "Oh, no you don't Mr. T," she murmured, grabbing onto the top of his head and giving it a good tug. She attacked the wig first, which would be the easiest to get rid of... Or would it? Because, even as she tugged, the wig wasn't coming off. It was tough, and... Soft? It actually felt like real hair. Creepy. Or... Uh oh. I just manhandled a stripper. Is that legal? When she realized the wig wasn't exactly what she'd expected (e.g. it was real hair attached to a real skull), she released her grip quickly and took a step back.

Linsee looked over the man sheepishly. He definitely wasn't Mr. Thorne. A bit taller, more lanky and less... Yum... than her favorite teacher on the planet. "So. You're not my History teacher." she mused aloud. She couldn't help but smirk as she gave up the idea that her sexy history teacher was stripping for her. "Too bad. I guess a girl can only dream." she gave him an amused smile and turned toward the still open door. The stripper music was still blaring, surprisingly loud out of such a frail little thing. She took a few steps toward it, where, sure enough, a teal vehicle sat at on the side of the road with Mr. Thorne. "You gonna stay out there all day or will you come inside and enjoy the very good-looking gift you left on my doorstep? I'm sure you want to get your money's worth." she smiled and gestured toward her living room. "I don't think it'll be as enjoyable without you." she turned and headed back to the man stripping.

Words! 1158 woot! Only fer Damon <3 Tags! [/color]Mr. Thorne Outfits! oneinpic Lyrics! This is War - 30 Seconds To Mars[/blockquote][/size][/color]

[Damon Thorne]

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Damon opted to wait in the car while Brett crept up to the house. Behind the tinted windows, Damon wasn't easily recognizable. He drilled his fingers along the steering wheel, wishing something interesting would hurry up and happen already. Brett kept flashing him thumbs-ups, wearing that same goofy, toothy grin he had every time someone looked at him. Damon sighed. He caught himself wishing - for but a moment - that he could find joy in his life as easily as Brett did. The man was never not smiling, could crack a joke about anything, and found solution to every problem. The toilet was clogged beyond plunging? No sweat! Brett had this buddy from college who was a professional plumber, and the two were so close, the guy would fix their toilet for free. They were driving to a friend's house for a couple of beers and the GPS scrambled? Brett whipped out his shiny new iPhone and pulled up the GPS ap. They arrived at their destination on time and panic-free. There weren't many people in the world Damon respected, much less wished to emulate. As a matter of fact, Brett might have been the only one. But Damon knew he wasn't capable of relaxing enough to pull a Brett, so he settled for having him as a best friend.

Realizing the door had opened, Damon snapped back to reality. He ducked lower in the seat, hiding behind the steering wheel, just in case Linsee could see him through the windshield. Even from his seat in the car, Damon could tell Linsee was trying hard to keep the situation under her control. After the initial sighting of a cop at her door, she betrayed no worry, no stress, no fear. Gotta hand it to her, Damon thought, She's damn good at lying. He couldn't tell whether this was a good thing... or the polar opposite. Sure, it made from some laughable pranks, but what if she tried lying to him about other things, like why she didn't do her homework? Or why there were stolen items in her desk? Damon shook his head. This was stupid. Linsee wasn't the type to steal stuff and not finish homework. But she stole that Jell-o, the pesky voice of reason reminded him. Honestly, he could care less if she lied to other people (like the fake cop at her door, for example), but something didn't sit right with him about Linsee lying to his face. Maybe it was because he thought she respected him more than that. Enough to tell him the truth. Yup. That was definitely it. Finally, he concluded that Linsee wasn't capable of lying to him, and if she did, Damon would catch it. Thus ended his worries over that issue.

Brett brushed past Linsee and into the house. The second Linsee followed him in, Damon sat up in his seat. He was parked at such an angle that he couldn't see farther than the door. Oh how he wished he could be there to witness the look on Linsee's face when she realized the "cop" wasn't a cop at all. Though, if she had any brains at all, she should've figured that out sooner. Damon Thorne was never predictable. Calling the cops? Way too obvious (and lame) for his tastes. Besides, he didn't want to see Linsee get in trouble over some harmless pranking. It wasn't like she blew his car up or anything. But, if she didn't figure it out, that would make Brett's retelling of the situation ten times funnier. It was like a double prank, all at once.

A couple seconds after the music had started, Damon decided it was safe to hop out of the car. He needed to stretch his legs, and there was no doubt in his mind that any moment now, Linsee would come looking for him. He opened the door, slid out of the cab, and wandered around to the front to lean against the hood. It took her longer than he'd anticipated, but Linsee did stride up to the door and stop inside its frame. Her gaze skirted the street, at last falling on Damon. With that same bemused smile she'd worn earlier that afternoon when Damon drew the spork from his back pocket, Linsee called, "You gonna stay out there all day or will you come inside and enjoy the very good-looking gift you left on my doorstep? I'm sure you want to get your money's worth." She went on to let him know it wasn't as enjoyable without him present, then turned and headed back inside. Damon shook his head, chuckling. Then he eased himself off the hood of Brett's car and headed up the front walk, into the lair of DeJane.

By the time he made it inside, Brett was slipping his jacket back on. "Aw, did I miss the show?" Damon whined in mock disappointment. "I didn't get my money's worth at all! ... Oh wait. I didn't pay you, did I?" The question, while addressed to Brett, was for Linsee's benefit. Brett picked up what Damon was trying to do and, without missing a beat, answered, "No you did not! I guess you'll have to take it out of my rent." "Sounds fair," Damon agreed. "How much are strippers payed?" Brett assumed an expression of deep thought, then shook his head. "You know what, Damon? I have no idea." Damon feigned a gasp. "What? You mean you've never done this before?" "I can see how it'd be hard to believe, but no."

[[ Sorry about the bull in the first couple paragraphs. I wanted to at least come close to your word count. xD ]]

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words ! 960, tags ! linsee, outfit ! oneinpic, lyrics ! "this is war" - thirty seconds to mars

[Linsee DeJane]

After motioning for her kick-ass history teacher to follow, Miss Linsee DeJane traipsed back into her humble abode to confront the man stripping in her living room. Oh, the joys of a teenage existence. Her amused mood spiked when she returned to her living room to see the stripper-man attempting to pull off his undershirt. Attempting because, as she giggled profusely at the thought of it all, Linsee held up her hands in surrender, muttering - between giggled, "You should probably stop now. Mainly because it's kind of illegal to strip for a teenager, even as a joke." she called. The music was still blaring, so it was slightly hard to hear anything spoken, but she figured she got the point across. Turning on her heel, she returned to the doorway to retrieve his jacket. The golden badge shimmered in the afternoon sun, and she was struck again by the accuracy of the stripper's costume.

After taking a moment to admire the outfit, Linsee stood and faced the almost-half-naked man. She held it up inquiringly. "Did you need this perchance?" she asked, before chucking it at his head - carefully, of course. The metal shield on his shirt might have marred his pretty face (ohnoes!!). She pranced back into the living room toward the blaring boom box - ancient though it was, the thing had some kickass speakers - to turn down the music. By the time she faced the door again, Mr. Thorne was walking in. She was struck by the thought that she was probably the only student in Lumini that Mr. Thorne had graced with his presence after hours. She smiled, secretly enjoying it. If any of the girls in History ever heard about him going to her house, they would probably murder her. Well, they'd try. That actually made the day more enjoyable.

"Aw did I miss the show?" Linsee could hear the fake disappointment in his voice. She wanted to laugh at the idea of Thorne wanting to watch a male stripper. "That'd disappoint the whole of the female population of Lumini." she muttered, before quieting down to hear the rest of their conversation. She did have a stray thought, however. Did her teacher honestly pay for a stripper for her? And if so, what sort of stripper would take his clothes off for a teenage girl, and at such short notice? Did he have to pay double? Suddenly, she had an image in her head. Mr. Thorne and the stripper in a back alley with crack addicts twitching in the background. Everything was all hush-hush. 'Okay, so you understand what to do?' stripper nods. 'strip for a teenage girl, don't take off too much. You're paying me triple, right?' 'of course, I wouldn't lie to you, now would I?' Forks over wad o' cash. Stripper flips through it. 'Good. Lets go!' Damon hesitates. 'hold it one sec. Gotta get some plastic covers for my car. Don't want any druggie germs on my nice seats. I eat green jello off of there!'

Tamping down the mad giggle trying to escape her lips, Linsee focused on the conversation between Mr. Thorne and said stripper. "No you did not! I guess you'll have to take it out of my rent." So he didn't pay for the stripper? Hmm, what a cheapskate! she thought jokingly to herself. "I guess you'll have to take it out of my rent." Linsee's jaw literally dropped. Mr. Thorne lives with a stripper?! No wonder he didn't have to pay!!

[/color] It explained where he would've gotten the idea, too. Still, she was pretty impressed. "How much are strippers paid?" "You know what? I have no idea." Well, that explains things. He doesn't actually live with a stripper.[/color] She was mildly relieved. Not that she had anything against strippers, but to be using one to pay the rent because teachers are underpaid? Low, much too low for her to believe. She respected Damon much more than that, and she figured he respected himself more than that too. The rest of the conversation was funny, but unsurprising compared to the earlier confusion. At the end of their exchange, Linsee shifted the weight from one foot to both feet, and rested her delicate hands on her narrow waist. "Well, I must say I'm impressed Thorne. Gonna take me a couple minutes to figure out how to top this one." She paused a moment, smiling as she considered the possibilities. "Nothing I can't handle, though." She shifted her eyes to look at the would-be stripper before settling back on Damon. "Ingenious prank, though. And quick too. I wouldn't have expected such quick retribution." She smiled. She wasn't sure how far their game was going to go, but she sure as hell knew it was war, and she was excited. Exctatic. Almost bouncing with excitement. "Well, Mr. Thorne. I guess this is war." she took a few steps toward him and held out her hand. "Let's make this a legacy. The legacy of Lumini." She exclaimed. "Game on."

[[If y'all don't mind, I'm gonna deal with the coding next time I get on. We're about to leave, and I don't want to leave it half done, which we all know would drive poor ellie crazy =] ]][/color][/blockquote][/size]